Archive for July, 2008

Getting Divorced? Should’ve Moved to Texas

Only in Texas could something this intelligent be instated. Well maybe not, but people here like to preface everything they say with ‘only in Texas’. I’m just getting the hang of it.  Here is a whole website devoted to things only in Texas. This new law put a smile on my face:  Twogether in Texas is a new program that puts couples through a grueling 8hr course prior to getting married. Much like taking a drivers education course, there is a benefit. The $60 wedding fee is waived.  Genius.  In such hard economic times, this will really save people that extra money they need for the 5 gallons of gas that they need to get to the ranch so they can go and shoot cans with their uncle Richie. 

With so many happy couples on the horizon, you can’t help but wonder what they will come up with next. A law that lets women take maternity leave so they can raise their children?  How about helping parents pay the over $150 dollars a week it costs to put your child in a day care while the women haul their asses to work while still applying antiseptic on their C-section scars twice a day?  How about free spanish classes for parents so they can understand the language that their children are being brought up on from birth?  How about funding an NIH grant to develop in vitro breasts so women don’t have to sit at their office desk with their boobs hooked up to pumps so that their babies at least get day-old breast milk? 

Yup, life can be stressful.  But don’t worry, you can always cancel your health insurance to make sure the kid at least gets food, hell you wouldn’t be able to pay the co-pay anyway, right?.  At least when the shit hits the fan you can look back at the 8 hour course you took, and remember how much you love your significant other.

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